Need You Now
by whoresontequila
Summary: He was supposed to just be a way for her to forget that her marriage is a complete and total failure and she was supposed to just be a way to get him off but somewhere along the lines he kind of fell in love with her. Puckleberry
1. Chapter 1

A knock sounds through his apartment and he knows without even getting up who it is. He sighs as he gets up from his recliner wondering if she ever thought that maybe he wouldn't be home when she made these surprise visits or that he might have someone over here with him, and by someone I mean a woman, in his bed. As if, he hasn't slept with another woman since she showed up after yet another fight with _him _and they kissed in the door way of his apartment.

He kind of hates her for making him love her so much, and for making him into this horrible person he has become because she's married with a daughter. Finn deserves it though because he called dibs on her when they were like freshmen and shit. Still though he already stole and impregnated on of his girls so Puck's not all that sure that the revenge is warranted.

He was supposed to just be a way for her to forget that her marriage is a complete and total failure and she was supposed to just be a way to get him off but somewhere along the lines he kind of fell in love with her and it became less about the sex and more about laying with her afterwards and running his hands through that chestnut hair while told him about her week or about the latest fight with Finn that always ends with her leaving with their daughter in tow.

Leaving and coming to his house so Puck and fuck Rachel's sadness away.

Yeah it's fucked up because the moment they put the little girl to bed in the spare room he takes her on the closest flat surface.

But you know what? Fuck Finn, if he didn't have to make it so damn hard for Rachel to just be herself and be happy then he wouldn't be in this situation. If he hadn't been so damn stupid then Rachel's never would have come to him so it's all Finn's fault.

That's what he tells himself as he takes the sleeping two year old from her arms and lays her down in the bed while going to his own bedroom to do extremely dirty things to the child's mother.

When they lie in bed later that night he forgets all about how he's supposed to hate her and can only remember the reasons he has for loving her. Which are much more evolved but just as meaningful as his reasons when he was five years old. Yeah he had loved her that long, since they were kids playing in his back yard long before his father left him and long before he gave her the first slushy facial.

She's talking to him about how the Tony nominations are going to be announced soon and she's so sure that her show is going to have a few, she doesn't even mention that she thinks she's going to get nominated just that the cast of New Beginnings is extremely talented and she wishes all of her coworkers well. He loves that she's not all about herself anymore, that she can recognize someone else's talents without having to put them down even if it is just a little.

"What did he do this time?" Puck ask quietly because even though he tries to pretend he doesn't care, he does.

"Noah… please…" she begs him not to bring it up because they are in this happy little cocoon and she doesn't want it to be ruined.

"Tell me I want to know." He whispers so she just nods and tells him about the lipstick on his shirt that doesn't belong to her and that he spelt like perfume she would never wear.

"Why do you care?" He asks even though he already knows the answer. He wants to hear it though so he can hate her again.

"I still love him Noah." She says so quietly that he almost doesn't hear her, almost but he does and so he goes back to hating her even though he knows the next time she shows up on his doorstep he'll go right back to letting her use him.

* * *

><p>She's lying when she tells him that she still loves Finn but he doesn't know that so it doesn't really matter. She's not a Broadway star for being a bad actress after all. Honestly she loves Noah. More than she ever loved the freakishly tall husband of hers. Part of her is sure that she will always love Finn because he gave her the most important thing in her life but she'll never be in love with him anymore.<p>

So if she doesn't love him then why is she still with him? Finn is a wonderful father much more than she could have ever asked for but sometimes she wonders if she left him if he would still be such a wonderful father. She's seen it with all of her friends they divorce and he all but disappears, she doesn't want that for her daughter. So she stays in an unhappy marriage where he's cheating on her and she's cheating on him for Riana.

She hates herself for what she's doing to Noah, using him to fell something in her sad excuse for a life is wrong. She knows she stringing him along basically saying that sex is all he's good for, but to her it's more than that he's really her best friend. He's the only person she can really talk to, and yeah most of what she says is complaining about Finn but when she's not venting about him he listens to what her plays are about and how she doesn't know if she should leave Broadway for the big screen once she gets her Tony.

He listens to her patiently while he runs her fingers through her hair knowing that it calms her down, helps her sleep. Finn doesn't even know what her favorite color is, or her favorite musical much less what calms her down. Hell he's never even seen her perform in New Beginnings, Noah's been to several of her performances.

To be fair though Finn doesn't really know how to love her the way he should. He hasn't really grown up much since they graduated high school. He's still the guy who ignores her to play video games but randomly for like five minutes plays the role of a wonderful husband but those moments are so fleeting and far between that she tends to forget they exist.

When they are there though she thinks that she can maybe love him like she used to.

* * *

><p>"I love you." Puck whispers it post orgasm when his brain is all mush and instantly he regrets it because even though he does love her, and she loves him (He knows it even if she denies that she does) it isn't something they ever say out loud like ever. Now he knows he's fucked up when Rachel stops breathing for a second and doesn't look at him while she rushes to get dressed.<p>

"Rachel shit I'm sorry I didn't mean it. Come back to bed." He says softly but she shakes her head and all of a sudden he's pissed no actually pissed doesn't express what he is. He's livid, this back and forth thing she's doing is getting real old real fast.

"Fuck Rachel stop pretending like you don't love me." Puck growls as he grabs her wrist.

"I'm not pretending because I don't love you Noah I love Finn."

Now he's even angrier than before, she can say it as man times as she wants to try to convince herself but he knows the truth he knows that she hasn't loved Finn in a long time. Long before even Riana was born. He pulls her to her roughly but kisser her as gently as he can because he's trying to prove a point here damn it and thrusting his tongue down her throat won't do him any good. When he pulls away they are both breathless and Rachel looks a little dazed,

"Tell me you didn't feel anything Berry." he kind of feels like a pussy with all this talk of feelings but he doesn't care. He's dealt with her shit for a year and now he's done.

"I- Just because we have amazing chemistry doesn't mean we would ever work." she says breathlessly.

"I love you noting else matters." He whispers in a way Finn has never said to her and it makes Rachel want to cry,

"Why?" She asks and he can see the tears welling up in her eyes it's enough to make most of his anger disappear.

"Why not?"

And now she's angry because there is a whole list of reasons they would never work in a real relationship that's pages, and pages long starting with the fact that she's married.

"Let's say that I tell you right now that I love you. That ever morning I wake up and Finn is the one next to me in the bed I'm disappointed. That I wish I wouldn't have married him and chosen to be with you instead when you asked me? And then what Noah?" She asked throwing her hands up in the air as she started pacing around his bedroom.

"I tell you that I am so, so in love with you and then what happens? I tell Finn that I've been fucking his best friend for over a year, that I'm leaving him so we can be together. You know I have a daughter right? I mean you realize that a relationship with me isn't just me it's _Riana_ and me. It's a long probably ugly _divorce_, and a _two year old_ and me."

Puck takes her hands in his and kissed her on the cheek and then the nose, and then the lips. "I love Riana she's an amazing little kid, and I can wait out your divorce because I am in love with you."

"I don't get how you can though." Rachel said and if it was possible she looked even sadder than before, than he had ever seen her. "My own husband doesn't love me, or my mother the one person genetically engineered to love me doesn't love me how can you? I'm horrible to you, and I'm crazy I know I'm crazy."

Puck smiles in spite of the lump in his throat, "I just love you Rach, crazy and all." it kind of breaks his heart that she thinks she doesn't deserve to be loved and at the same time it makes him angry that Finn has someone like her and he doesn't thank god everyday for her.

Rachel just shakes her head. "Why did you have to ruin everything?" She asks before she rushes out of his bedroom.

A/N: Just a little something that wouldn't leave me alone, don't worry fans of my faberry fic there should be another chapter up sometime tomorrow night. As for this one it's going to be a two shot so expect another chapter sometime within the next week or so. Anyways leave me lots of reviews to let me know if I should continue this!


	2. Chapter 2

Puck knows he's a bad person, so really when he does what he has to do to keep his woman he feels bad about it yes but he's desperate. And then he's terrified afterwards. He didn't think this thing through. All he could think about was getting to be Rachel's number one and not her number two. He was desperate and positive that she wouldn't leave Finn without a little shove. She didn't even love him and he didn't love her but Rachel and Puck? They were in love. Puck didn't think about how he could be screwing with her career. He didn't think about how he was once again screwing over his best friend. And He didn't think about how Rachel would react.

Would she even keep the baby? That was the biggest worry of all, how would he deal with having another child taken from him? All he ever thought about was Beth and how she was doing, wondering who she looked like. What kind of person she was, now he might have another situation like that on his hand. He couldn't help but think about how stupid he was, how he had screwed everything up. That was just it though, Rachel made him stupid. With all of her lying and tug a war bullshit she was slowing breaking him down until he went crazy.

Or maybe he had already gone crazy, because shit he didn't even know if his plan had worked. He didn't even know if she was actually pregnant so why was he being such a little bitch and worrying about it anyways?

To say that Rachel was freaking out would probably be and understatement, she hadn't seen Noah in almost a month and in that time she had finished up her second stint on Broadway, been nominated for a Tony and got offered a starring role in a film that was going to be done over the summer and was already the talk of Hollywood. Her month had been hectic to say the least and she had wanted more than anything to tell Noah about it all but he had ruined everything by telling her he loved her. So she had no one to talk to and it wasn't like her husband asked about her day or anything like that.

And now she was sitting in her bathroom peeing on a stupid stick and praying it turned up negative, Finn was still dumb as a rock but even he knew you had to at least look at each other to get anywhere near making a baby. She also couldn't do that to the men in her life not after the whole Quinn debacle. When the test shows up positve she knows she's going to have a panic attack. After a couple of calming breaths she calls the only person who would know what to do right now. Quinn.

"Rachel?" Quinn asked without even saying hello. She sounds out of breath.

"Are you busy?" replies Rachel trying to hold her tears at bay.

"Yeah kind of but I can talk what's up-? Christopher so help me god if you do not put your sister down this instant you are in for a world of trouble buddy!"

Quinn laughs lightly. "Sorry Rach, Sam fed Chris a tons of sugar and he is bouncing off the walls right now."

Rachel laughs tightly right along with her because she knows how that is.

"So what's going on you sound upset."

"I- I just need a little advice Quinn."

"Okay shoot."

"I've been sleeping with Noah for a year."

A gasp from the other end of the phone. "Rachel no." She breaths and Rachel hangs her head in shame even though she's alone in her bathroom.

"Quinn there's more… I'm about ninety nine percent sure I'm pregnant."

"Damn it Rachel." Sighs Quinn and she knows that Quinn isn't angry even though her and Finn are pretty close.

"Tell me what to do." She whispers. Sometimes she really hates that her best friend is on the other side of the country because she could really use her right about now.

"You come clean plain and simple. You can't pull any of the shit I did."

"Yeah Q I know."

He's sitting on his recliner again with a beer in his hand watching the Yankees get there asses handed to them when he hears the all to familiar knock. He wonders what she wants, Puck hasn't heard from her in over a month and he would be lying if he said that shit wasn't getting to him. He hated himself for saying anything to her because at this point her would take her in anyway he could get her. Even so he makes a decision to tell her to leave, he's not one of those weird people who likes to get their heartbroken repeatedly after all.

When he opens the door though she's standing there with a little white stick with two pink lines in her hand holding it up for him to see and there is no Riana on her hip it's just her standing there in a sweatshirt with no make-up, messy hair and the saddest fucking look he's ever seen. He doesn't know if he wants to kiss her or freak out because of what's in her hand. She looks at him for a long time before swallowing hard.

"Noah, I… I'm leaving him" she manages to get out before he sweeps her up in his arms and kisses the daylights right out of her. She's kind of smiling a little and gasping for breath when he finally puts her down. He smiles right back at her trying not to think about how fucked up it is that he knocked up not one but two of Finn's girls while he was still with them but Rachel was totally his first so whatever it doesn't matter.

"I'm pregnant." She says as if he didn't see the pregnancy test in her hand. Which yeah he didn't knowledge it but whatever he's way to fucking excited to think right now so he just kisses her again.

"I know, baby this is going to be the most bad ass Jew baby ever Rach!"

Rachel laughs and lets him take her right there against the front door.

She tries to ignore the nagging feeling in the back of her mind the one telling her that she's a horrible person. The one that says she's going to hell for sure now because what kind of decent person sleeps with her husbands best friend? What kind of person gets pregnant by him and then is relieved? When she looked at the test instead of the panic she had been expecting she just felt calm like she finally had a way to force herself out. (yeah she know she's a coward.) She tells Puck first because, he deserves to know about his kid before Finn does.

She knows though that eventually she will have to tell him about the baby probably the same day she tells him that she wants a divorce. It's a Monday morning she's already gotten Riana ready for daycare and the two year old is sitting in her 'big girl' highchair while Finn feeds her eggs. Rachel's back is turned to him while she makes coffee and they haven't spoken yet not even a 'good morning' but it's the norm for them now, some mornings they leave without a word and yeah it kind of breaks her heart but only because she and Finn had something once upon a time and they wasted it.

"I think we should get a divorce." She says to him. Her eyes meet his as she sips the steaming mug of black liquid. She says it in a way that one might inquire about the weather and for a second she thinks he's going to be pissed at her you never really know with Finn.

The relief that floods his eyes breaks her heart a little further, not because she's in love with him but because he doesn't love her anymore and it stings more than it should. She almost can't stop herself when the next words that tumble out of her mouth are 'I'm pregnant'.

Then he does look angry as he drops the spoon and it falls to the ground with a soft clatter, Riana looks up at her daddy confused as to why her food is on the ground and not in her mouth.

"Who?" he nearly growls out. Not for the first time in their long relationship she finds that she's really afraid of him, he's a big guys after all and tends to get physical when he's angry. He hasn't actually hit her or anything like that but he's thrown a ton of things in her general direction. So the step she takes towards him isn't really to protect herself she wants to grab her daughter and hightail it to Noah's before Finn can do something he regrets.

"Noah." She breaths the answer and takes another step toward Finn.

"He's only into you because you've finally made it you know that right Rachel."

The cruel words are enough to make her freeze for a minute shocked. "Noah loves me." She says in a strong, sure voice.

Finn scoffs and laughs cruelly. "Yeah since when? Since you got your first role on Broadway or your first slushie facial from him? I've loved you since you were a loser in animal sweaters."

She knows she shouldn't say it because it's cruel and not her at all but the things he's saying… his hatefulness is pissing her off. "Noah and I slept together the day before we got married Finn he tried to get me to leave you but I was scared because he was Noah and I had you, a man who I thought was so good, so faithful. Someone who I thought would stick by me no matter what. So yeah he's loved me since before I was Rachel Berry Broadway star. I wasn't the only one to cheat Finn."

"Is Raina-" He stopped mid-sentence like it was to painful for him to even ask the question. He had been through all of this before, the cheating, the best friend getting his significant other pregnant and then having a child taken away from him. Finn didn't think he could do it again.

Rachel took a step closer to him and touched his face softly. "I'm not Quinn Finn. I did at one point love you despite what you may think of me. Riana is your daughter."

A sigh of relief and his anger was right back in tact. "Except that you kind of are just like her aren't you. You fall for his lies and then are stupid enough to get pregnant."

"I'm not doing this with you right now." Rachel said sadly as she shook her head. She should have known he wasn't going to be an adult about this.

"I deserve an explanation Rachel!" Finn yelled in her face.

Something snapped inside of Rachel her heart picked up it's pace until she was breathing heavily glaring at her husband. "You deserve nothing. I deserved a man who would acknowledge the fact that everyone of my dreams have come true, someone who would come to see me in my plays despite the fact that he finds them boring. I deserved to be treated like a lady, like I was desirable."

She closed her eyes trying to gather herself before she continued. "Noah gave me all of that so there is your explanation. Noah loved me when you ignored me, you can only ignore that kind of devotion for so long Finn."

Finn nods and like he suddenly had a change of heart he takes his hand in hers. "Did you ever love me Rachel? Or was it always him?"

Rachel sighed and rubbed her temples like she had a headache. "I love you Finn I do as the father of my daughter but I'm not sure that I am in love with you anymore or that I ever really was. Noah was always there in the back of my mind. And for that I am truly sorry I did try to love you as much as a person could with only half of a heart."

"I tried too you know?" He asks softly brushing a lock of hair out of her face.

"Yeah Finn I know just not hard enough."

Finn and her had been getting along pretty well in the month since they had officially called it quits. He hadn't run off like she thought he would in fact he was actually fighting really hard to be with her. Picking Riana up from daycare and taking her out every weekend not just every other one. So when she told him she would be moving to L.A. to star in a film he was livid and wanted to keep Riana in New York but Rachel knew that wasn't possible. Finn was without a doubt a wonderful father but he couldn't do it on his own.

Eventually he let them leave but only because Rachel planned on spending a couple of months in Lima before she left for L.A. and Carole had been dying to see her grandaughter and since they lived so far away it only happened every couple of months. Three months in Lima would be perfect for Riana to get away from the hustle and bustle of the city and know what it was like to be a normal kid.

She was sitting in Carole's kitchen nursing a glass of ice water, while Kurt played with Riana in the living room. The older woman hadn't really said much since Rachel showed up at her doorstep over a hour ago.

"You hate me." She said it was more of a statement than a question.

Carole shook her head with a small smile. "I could never hate you Rachel."

Rachel returned her smile sadly. "I hate myself so why don't you?"

"I guess because you are as much my daughter as Finn is my son, and I know that he can be an idiot at times. Oblivoius of what is going on around him. I'm not going to put all the blame on you for the two you's failed marriage."

Rachel nodded and was about to reply but Carole wasn't done. "Now about Noah Rachel, well I've always know that you and him loved one another from the start. I even tried warning him once but he didn't want to see it as much as you didn't."

"I never meant to hurt him."

Carole nodded. "Yeah honey I know."

Rachel couldn't help but sigh in relief she loved Carole like a mother and wouldn't be able to bear it if Carole started to hate her. For all intents and purposes she should hate her. Cheating on Finn was wrong even if he was cheating on her two but cheating on him with Noah of all men was about ten times worse and the fact that Carole didn't hate her made her ecstatic and even worse all at the same time.

"Marry me." Puck said one day three weeks later while they lay in her childhood bed. Riana was sharing a bed with her father's on their insistence. Rachel who was cuddled up on his chest rolled over on her back, resting her hands on her barely noticeable baby bump.

"Noah." She breathed pushing her hair back out of her eyes. What was she supposed to say to that? "Noah I'm not going to marry you just because we're having a baby."

Noah takes a deep breath and trails his fingers from her collarbone to the side of her breast and finally reaching his destination her let it rest on her stomach. "Do you love me Rachel?" For a second he's almost scared to hear her answer. He would be lying if he said that somewhere in the back of his mind he couldn't help but wonder if the only reason she was with him was because of the baby.

"Of course I love you Noah always have."

"Then marry me because we love one another. Marry me because you want to wake up next to me for the rest of your life just like I want to with you. Marry me because you couldn't possibly see yourself with anyone else."

"Okay." She whispered touching her hand to his face.

"Yeah?" asked Puck kissing her on the lips.

Rachel nodded and laughed as he all but attacked her. "God Berry I love you."

"I love you too Puckerman."

A/N: Next chapter will be the last with maybe an ultrasound, some Quinn/Santana/Rachel Friendship, the birth and then the wedding. Hope you guys enjoyed this and leave me some reviews maybe with some ideas of what y'all would like to see.


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